Sunday, December 9, 2007

Contacts...

Hi!!!

Just a few days ago, was having an evening walk and bumped into an old neighbour on the way.
Had a normal conversation regarding everybody at home and the other neighbours in our building. He also asked me where was I working and I told him the place I have joined...and yes as expected I had an opinionated answer. I came back home and said that I met him....folks at home just threw a question- what’s he doing now-a-days? I think they wanted 2 know where is he working now? I said… I din't bother to ask.

And with , I got strange reactions like—u don’t know how 2 do networking. I have hardly ever spoken to him as a neighbour, so I din't feel it necessary to even intrude further.

Those looks kind of threw a question at me---Acquaintances, contacts, friends---does the world perceive a difference in them?

"Acquaintances" are 2 people who just meet anywhere and everywhere, I guess - bus, train etc etc... one of them strikes a conversation and the other person completes it ...just that much and the two of them move on....

"Contacts" --in which one person tries to initiate a talk because he/she thinks that the other person has got some advantage (something extra or many things extra that the person possesses or v perceive that he / she possesses) that can be used for our own benefit.

Friends --we all understand and have different connotations for that and none of us need an explanation...

I just tried to give an accounting perspective to these three terms....Acquaintances...With them the Account statement remains fairly balanced at regular intervals...Suppose v meet a person at a party and there is a two way exchange of words...and the chapter closes there.. Nobody ever thinks of the other person until v meet up the next time....So the account statement just tallies perfectly at the close of each conversation....

With Contacts, it is a bit complicated...there is a lot of mismatch between the debits and the credits..As I said earlier it's about conversing with an objective...so u ask for ur favour, get it done and promise to help if the other party so desires any time in future....So in this account statement, the debits and credits of giving and taking favours/help has a certain amount of time lag to get balanced...and more often than not, the person who had initiated the discussion has the account as liability in his life!!!!

With friends, u don't need an account...its all with heart that u do for each other.

But how often than not, do we confuse a person---we tend to call everybody friends....Is it correct? In any conversation with any Tom, dick or Harry...we blurt out..."are haan, I have a friend working in that XYZ Co....." Kaunsa friend? Have u been pals with that person since ages....in 99 possibilities... No!!! I am not against building contacts...they are necessary for whatever ---professional, business or social networking and blah blah...but hold on....v r doing it for a very selfish reason....to get the benefit from the people....Ya, there are ppl who go out of their way to help people but then they are actually our well wishers disguised as contacts ...Again, I am not saying it's wrong, but time and again depending for everything in life on good contacts, as many ppl claim they have---is something I don't think ok about..... learn from others, imitate others, learn from ur own mistakes , ur own wrong decisions but don't depend on favours so much that u feel crippled by your own ambitions, ur own drives and ur own confidence sometime in life!!!!....

So, I think if v want our account statements in life to be well settled...v shud give a thougth before USING (ya, this is the word that we use often use for contacts....) a contact!!!!!!

Ciao!!!!!

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