Siblings

What a unique way of God to add beauty to an individuals life!! Siblings - Two or more people are just bound together by something which is very inseparable (the mother who gave birth to both of them) yet very distinct (they have their own individualistic life), a relation which is very casual yet very special at the same time. Sisters or brothers often take each other for granted, (here "taking for granted" does not have a negative connotation). This thing called "taken for granted" is negative only in the in ital stages of relationship when there is extreme love, passion and jealousy , when u want the supreme position in the other person's heart; but over the years when u just become comfortable with the person, this thing called "taken for granted" acquires a new meaning---it becomes understanding, respect for each other and giving appropriate space. (Guys, hang on, this are not my thoughts, these are SRK's thoughts in today's Bombay Times and I kind of agreed with it and applied it to this topic.)

I was just wondering what happens if the siblings don't get along well with each other. I mean normal fights are something which no normal sisters/brothers can live without but what if it's beyond that ? It could be anything parental pressure (meaning a kind of subtle favouritism by the parents which is apparent only to the eyes of the person getting affected) agreed for mothers all five fingers are equal......but i have observed certain exceptions and so just putting it down here, or it could be societal pressure or just lack of mental compatibility between them.

Take a case----If the eldest daughter/son amongst all of them (assume there are 3 or more than that)has never strived to make this relationship beautiful with the younger one for whatever reasons (be it any reason as mentioned above parental pressure and all that....)....."Making beautiful" has got no meaning - it is all small - small things that count ---sharing deep secrets, going 4 a movie , shopping, trying to save ur skin in case of any trouble...it cud be nething...if all these thoughts are absent in the eldest & the younger one, how does the younger one pass it on to the youngest one?

Does he/she pass it on with the same lack of concern kind of thoughts......not caring whether he/she has had food, not caring if there's ne problem at school/college/work etc, just thinking that History repeats itself and should behave as the elder one has done with him/her or the middle one should make efforts to try and make the relation as superb as it can be......I think the younger one will work hard to see that the youngest one never feels similar to what he/she has felt...

Now if I add one more angle to this already complicated situation, assume that the youngest child is quite a loner and generally keeps to his/her own self except in front of close friends and now the middle child has been determined from his/her self experience that it doesn't feel good to have a elder one who seems not caring, so let's try and be a little protective, a little caring and have fun as some normal sisters/bros. do have. The problem arises...the younger one sees it as a breach of privacy or a lot of interference.....

All this may continue for a life time with neither the eldest one , neither the youngest one realizing the harm on the mind of the middle one...He/she may feel out of context in this life...may start feeling what kind of life is this when the blood relations are not turning out OK....is there problem with me ? Can't I try and be a good sister/brother? Why can't our relationship be as beautiful, be as normal, be as pure, be like real real pals.....If i can't be a good sibling, how can I be a good friend, good daughter or a good partner....If my own siblings can't trust me. how will outsiders confide in me? And believe me this sows the seeds of failure in one's personal life......

I don't think most of you'll will be able 2 understand this post (not because of my writing skills!!!!!)but because this is again a very exceptional situation which hardly people come across....but I have seen and witnessed it and believe me it's a very very normal house hold...like yours and mine...it's nothing different except of course the missing chatters of the siblings!!!!!!!!!!And how I wish to change all of it there....but somethings are just beyond us........

Will post in later....bbye

This is my review....

Hi all

Ya did see Laga chunari mein daag....and wid the college friend (refer my earlier post for the utter confusion )...i will try and give u guys my take on the movie...before i had gone 4 the movie...i had read TOI review which was a measley 2 star...so i was cursing myself for booking the tickets before the reviews (and thanks to the multiplexes...for the exorbitant rates they charge, that u end up feeling guilty!!!!)...Sunday morning, as soon as I read TOI review, i logged onto the net and read up a few other reviews...and all gave a simlar sob story. I was feeling horribly that i will have 2 sit for this 3 hour torcher....but the fact that i was going with my dearest friend eased me off......

And somehow I liked the movie..it's not that bad as the reviews have made it out to be...it's got amazing performances and a sound story line (I mean, the story is ok but has got it's own reflections and hindsights to it.)

The performances were actually mind blowing...

Rani Mukherjee was perfect...(haven't seen Black in theatres, so am not comparing and whatever little i saw on TV was not making too much sense to me, so i switched it off thinking that I will not be doing justice to the movie which is so well acclaimed..)

Konkana was very graceful...she reminds me of Kajol...has got her own dark looks charm and i am glad she made it big in this "fair n lovely" India.

Junior AB, can't describe him in words....because I cross my hearts and say that I love him....he was hardly there in 2-3 shots and a song....but made his presence felt...dunno about others but on my heart it did....Luv him like crazy and a am jealous of the Miss World besides him...

Kunal Kapoor comes across as a stud...and he is no doubt...acting skill are awesome ...did remind me of RDB..

Mrs. Bacchan was as usual - the silent, serene and composed persona...ya sh did have certain very hard dialogues but wid few words...and she did a 110% job...Anupam Kher was the father still looking out for a male child and his character hurt me--that means he did his job the best..

The story was very real I guess...and can say real because have a read a few books on this subject which are true stories...It just boils down to one thing " U make choices in life, there is no such thing as destiny or luck". Rani Mukherjee's character makes a choice as a woman and she lives with it completely....There's lot of strength and weakness in her character which is potrayed beautifully...It was all about Survival and not for this time it was not about survival of the fittest but survival of the weakest.....It just shows the kind of work people can take up for nothing but simple, Right to a normal living...it was saddening....

Abhishek did act very well, but it was the most artificaial role in the movie, because Indian men are yet to come of age to behave as what he did...Indian men still would prefer beauty over brains. So be it, Iam not complaining, they have their choices to make but in the meantime if they could just peep within themselves and think that they are in the 21st century and should try and walk hand in hand and not keep her behind at every stage in life.....Let me not get too nervy with some of these MCP's.....I will give them their desired break....

Another thing that has caught my attention lately is the "Lead India" initative. Liked the concept. Hope it's all transparent and fair and somehow i belive that it is fair. The 3 mumbai finalists are very smart leaders....having the right mix of determination, confidence, attitude,managerial skills and all of it. Their passion is too mind boggling and would really luv to imbibe myself with those qualitties...hats off to Rahul Bose, Monica M, Ujjawal B. They have done great work in their individual capacities..especially Ujjawal who kiked his fat salary job to work in a NGO...This is what i call passion. Kudos!!!!!!!!

feeling sleepy.....i sleep like a log now-a-days.....(am vacationing :-))will try and post more on them later....bbye...

ciao

....Wishes- to be fulfilled!!!!!!

Hi, there...just realised that all my previous posts were just too Karan Johar types....(he makes you dream but though thru a lot of tears!!!). Too much of senti stuff, life is already damn complicated, if we think so much, God Bless us!

Do all of us have certain secret desires? They could be very realistic and achievable and they could be far - fetched too........I have a ot many and they are pretty simple to get but unfortunately the kind of environment I have been (will not say conservative, but overtly protective and Work is worship kinda attitude) has made it difficult to fulfill these wishes....

1. Wanna travel...travel across the entire country from top to bottom and to the eastern parts too....Wanna specifically see Leh, Ladakh, Srinagar, Chandigarh, Delhi, Chamba, Chardham, Shimla -Kullu- Manali ( these places are not so on my wish list for the simple reason, I hate crowds and these people are like proper proper tourists places ), Sikkim, Gangtok, Darjeeling, Jaisalmer, Udaipur, Kerala, Kanyakumari.....How could I forget Himalayas..Kailash Mansorver..doing all kinds of adventure sports...

I know for this I just need to go to a good agent..theer's one just opposite to my residence ..Raj travels...the problem is not that..problem is about timing and company...mum and pa are just not interested to move out of home, sis is busy studying for board exams in diwali..i am a big time lukkhi (mumbaiya word for "useless") bcoz I have got loads of time before I join my new company...and mom - dad are hesistant to send me alone...friends - u know...all of them are not free at the same time.... Sometime in life, I will see all of these places, be it alone but I will do it!!!!

2. To get my passport done....this is the biggest pain I have gone thru yaar....how many proofs do they want...There's a slight problem with the name and surname on my birth certificate and all other documents, so these guys are irritating me to no extent...they are telling me to keep my name as it is on the birth certificate by filing affidavit and newspaper ads and etc etc.. and I am too reluctant to do it..bcoz I love my name as it is on all my marksheets and as u guys are seeing it...so I told them to get lost, I will not leave this country because I love my name too much too change it. Here's this another desire that remains to be fulfilled....

3. I completed CA...many ppl do it ; guys, believe me for the 3 -3.5 months that we are studying like 10-12 hours a day...it just makes a dead when the exams r going to approach--we don't realize anything sleep, hunger, dressing sense just nothing seems to matter...at the end of it, +ve results are like heaven for us..i had tears seeing the word PASS on my desktop...its really a mission accomplished. Coming to the point, getting our Membership no....our institute has whole lot of forms to be filled for anyhting we want to do as professionals..so before we start doing professional activities, we need a membership no. for that we have this Form 2. No my desire is not to fill this form (that I have already done), my desire is to change the first line of the form. It says,

Dear Sir,

I beg to apply that my name be entered in the Register of Members.

(and the form continues for a good 7-8 pages....)

Gimme a break, I have legitimatly cleared an examination of international repute, why do u want me to beg to do what this exam is supposed to help me do!!!!!

Hence, here it goes - my desire is to make the institute fellas realise that their students should not be made beggars at their own school...plzzzzz

4. Another wish, I really really hope I atleast fulfill this one....to continue with my blog till I die....swear....for me as person, it has helped so I know I will.....

5. This one is surely impossible for each one of us...to end hypocrisy on this earth....i just hate hate hate..such people.....there are some whom I very close to also but have never really told them, for fear of hurting them.

6. To do a Ph D....I keep telling everybody, that when I grow a bit old and don't have much capacity left to work...I will again take up studying and Reserach....I know its wierd..but that's the way I am...If not a formal Ph D...I hope atleast can do it informally..that's by learning and teaching...hopefully!!!!!

....ther are lots of such innate desires that have...post in more smtime later...just got a sms from one of my friends..her granny has expired...dunno shoud I call right a way ..it's almost 11.45..not that time matters right now...but the question I have to think is what to say? It's difficult to pull out friends from such emotional crisis...and I am worst at consoling people...so just lemme think what to do....bbye...

Kahan aur Kaunsi movie?????

.....Hmmm...I like watching movies but don't do it like every friday. I wait for the reviews and then lazily hunt for a friend and then one more process of laziness- tickets kaun le kar aayega??

But this week was like a total roller...I had four friends calling me up and asking me for movies. One school friend (don't remember who asked whom) whom I haven't met since long, two my old office colleagues (indvidually) and one, my college friend. And ya, the gr8 lass that I am, haven't refused any of them. Can't do it yaar to any of them. All are sweethearts.

The worst is all of them asking for the same movie " Laga Chunnari main daag"....and I still dunno with whom I will be going...but this time mostly I will be going before the reviews come out...so kind of taking chances. But I guess its all worth it because of Abhishek Bachhan...

But the disappointing fact is..i will be ditchin 3 others...all of us can't go together yaar..bcoz it kind of gets uncomfortable for everybody....

let's c how the managament guru in me manages this...i know i am going to get jhapped(verbal slapsticks) from the office colleagues if I don't go alomg with them.....one is very dear ...and she's pretty angry bcoz i m ditching her, as her birthday is approaching....not much from the school friend because i know she's too understanding...college friend ko I can't refuse because swear havn't seen her since long and she's about to get married and she is my very good friend..so....

will post in details of wht finally happened, with whom I am going..bye...

...I m just talking, do I need a title?

Hi, everybody!!!!!

I have certain random thoughts floating across my mind since....i think more than 2-3 years. But never tried to ask anybody because I fear the answers actually...

- Is it required of us to give our closes pals the required space when they are about to venture into a different arena of life? It could be anything- further studies, very distant from you; a new job- again possibly distant from you or simple - marriage. or is it ok for us to intrude every now and then into their new lives? Remember you are the closest pals so you have a choice. I don't know what's right- to give space or not to. Like a typical management student , I would say "Depends".
But as a human being, I would say I have gone and given them so much space that friends come back and say, "hey, how can you forget me so soon?" It's not about forgetting a best friend, can never happen..never, not even when you are running at 65.... It's just about letting their lives be.....

But, if the person doesn't turn back to you ever in life, then ya he/she has definitely forgotten you and there comes the test of friendship. What do you do? You also forget them or you keep them in your heart forever or just let go.....You feel hurt...too much. Suppose that person never turns back, but u try and reach out to him/her because u want to share a day's trouble with him/her , but you get such a cold response...there is no warmth in the voice...there is no connectivity of thought....there is sound of being busy.....there is no comfort...u feel it would have been so much better , had u not called up at all!!!!!!!!!!

I think, I was wrong, by giving space, I went to an extent of disconnecting them from my life at the cost of hurting myself. This is how relationships enter into trouble and die an untimely death, which again causes problems for too many people not just you..... and it takes a zillion efforts to get them back on track but there are again chances of derailment.....

But ya, if my friends are reading this blog, here's to say, even if I haven't come back to you guys, u r in my heart forever..ready to lend a ear anytime....

I am sure most of you will feel that you should just remain normal irrespective of the change in other person's life, that is the strength of friendship. Wonder, how many of us are in touch with the all our school and college best friends, as we used to call them? I am glad, I still have at least a few still today. It's difficult guys, agree or disagree...really difficult....

Many such random thoughts, sometimes take a toll on me...will keep posting to make my mind a bit clutter free.....thanks

................Sahi ya galat!!!!!!

There I go again, on this so often trodden path....The decision that I have taken is it ok for me???

Ya, I have taken up a new job, so the unavoidable confusion once again. I have people congratulating me, dunno should I thank them right away or wait till I am reasonably ok with it? I mean, I am not being pessimist or any such kind but seriously I am silly too scared to face a negative outcome!!!! In my first post, I had mentioned how often we are troubled with inconsequential issues in our life. I don't in anyway mean to say that this new job is inconsequential but I surely mean to say that thinking about it before I actually start working is really going to be a drain on my already scarce resources of brains. Left it to destiny now to decide its course of action!!

Nothing much, just yesterday night, I had the unfortunate privilege (uncanny paradox!!!)of doing my younger sister's homework. What boredom man!!!!She was not too well and had to submit her journal, so I was the scapegoat....had to do it for her!!!!I was just thinking about my school days, wherein as the years progressed the quantum of H.W. (homework as we used to inscribe on our notebook covers) went on increasing and we use to complete by coming early to school and finishing it till the Assembly started!!!!!What fun!!! All of us get so nostalgic about our school days. Life was absolutely so peaceful..till u venture into college and find yourself quite out of place.

But its OK, everything just moves on...Probably when we turn senior citizens we shall all be proud of at least a few decisions that we have made. I am sure thoda sahi hoga and a bit galat!!!!! Cya...will post in later!!!!

Is there in any method in all the madness!!!!!

Hi....again a confused week......the blog heading just fits my life too well....my decision - making abilities have all gone for a toss, i m feeling!!!!...Just recently had been to a gathering wherein I saw the smartest of the professional behave silly like morons. There was so much of "I, me , myself" attitude....I was wondering, is education meant to make us so? I will answer this question last. This is where my mind was trying to decide about the purpose of education.

I wonder that whether all people on this earth who work in a corporate environment, (doesn't matter whether they are enjoying their work or not, doesn't matter at what level they are working) can sleep peacefully at night...I mean, seriously, for me it's a thought provoking question. Because, for most seniors is there any single day when they have thought great about the juniors working under them....Agreed there are exceptions...but lets talk about a Normal distribution curve wherein 80% people are average......Why is it that the corporate world is always associated with the words the "big bad world" like bollwood hehehhe...? And then people who kind of get frustrated are made to feel as if they were not smart enough to handle the pressures, they were not good learners etc etc. Is it really so? Isn't each individual born with certain strengths and weaknesses...(the most irritating question in the HR interviews), then why are they expected to behave at 100/100 at each single second in the work life.

Give them a break from such nonsensical office gossip....let each of just concentrate on the work at hand rather than criticizing people by whom the work is actually being done, treat them with respect and I am sure the best results are just inevitable....People make mistakes.agreed..but I suppose if they are not ridiculed each time..they will be better learners and better performers...

All said and done, it's about managing. Managing life and not confusing it. For all the juniors on the earth - don't get demotivated. Give a pat on your back yourself if the senior isn't doing so. For all the seniors- if you are not willing to give them a opportunity, at least show the light towards the opportunity, at least a few will grab it. My answer..education wanted us to be modest, to share knowledge and not to stifle it within ourselves. Lets make this corporate world a better place to live in!!!!!!!!!!