Wishes...some possible, some difficult, some impossible.....

1. Take the sea in my arms and hug it tight forever and just dont let it go....

2. To go to the highest mountains and just keep the time to myself on the vast landscapes....

3. To drive a car to a distance as far as I could.........

4. To dance in heavy rain showers on the rocky sea shores....

5. Bungee jumping & all weird adventure sports.......but not alone....:-)

6. To go around the world visiting beautiful places....

7. To not feel alone and also not feel lonely ever....(get the difference..)

8. To not feel hurt by anyone on this earth......bcoz nobody is worth that on this planet....

9. To have someone to just understand my silence...

10. To have more of ME TIME....

Weirdo!!!!!!!!

...the weirdest thing I have done in office.....
..was getting bored...since was waiting for some data to come along and boss wasnt around...had gone for his usual hourly smoke breaks....i penned a poem on smthng very important to me....will post it later....

Anonymous.........

Hi,

Long time since I hv written...too many things happening, some good some bad.....so overall a mixed life once again!!!

some weeks back had CA results once again....pretty decent results...most ppl i know cleared....nd the result of my frnd whom I had been waiting 4......did come positive...yipee!!!!...I wud have been dead 4 words if it wud not have been....the results were declared at around 8.00 A.M. nd d gr8 lass that she is...dint check her results since 9.00 P.M.....13 hour wait...i was anxious almost as if it was my result....I told her later ---bcoz of this, she wasted 13 hours of celebration.. :-)......

First time ever, alongwid my neighbour - both of us organized a social get2gether 4 our society...around 125 odd ppl....it was fun planning the event.."event" bcoz we got a grand budget sanctioned..The gathering proceeded fine.....nd the best part was d anonymity i enjoyed...even though i have been staying here since childhood..ppl from other wings were unsure about my existence...the best reaction was.. "u are new in this apartment, nd u hv done a good job.." lolz.....i said thank u and walked on to have my first glass of juice at 11.00 P.M. The other one from a very gossippy aunt was.."u r so shy...never seen u in d apartment...where hv u been...keep organizing such events alongwid P*...she is such an enthusiast?"....Hope u enjoid, aunty...:-) nd i walked on to the caterer who seemed wild at delaying the dinner........

Now this has to be d best...at d end when one of d senior members was thanking d organizers (i.e. supposedly me and P*), he just said P*. I was anonymous at tht moment.I am not being modest, but the fact is I dint mind it at all. I m saying this bcoz we all want credit for the work done. But there I was all smiling. I felt good about myself. Not only bcoz of the success of the event but also Because at so many instances in life, I am sure each one of us have been feeling short of deserved credit..I think I did really put 2 practice wht i had learned...just do something for others widout expecting nethng in return....hope i be like dis ever....ciao....

Mind Mess!!!!

Hi...

Week has been horrible........I tried so hard to not form any opinions and judgements about smthng on my mind ...I really tried to remain +ve but it's just not working right...I was trying hard to be focussed and determined but ...Dunno...I hope things work out rite ....My fears of nervousness and tension of last week just came out true:-(....m not regretting ne of my decisions nd not even cursing my luck but at the end of it.. fact is whenever i try hard to njoi life....circumstances turnaround....

nd 2 top it all..there r very few ppl whom i can speak to with an open mind nd none of them r around this time...mind is stifled with all thoughts....just hoping things go alrite in the few days....

I had promised myself minimum of 1 book in a fortnight...tht too isn't happening bcoz in d nite i keep brooding over d next day or the day passed by....trying to start reading....Ek book uthayi to hai...when it get's over will post tht :-)....Newspaper reading has gone 4 a toss....i sit in d train, (if i 'm lucky 2 get a seat!!!)...just readng the headlines and i doze off....nd if i m standing...then no scope tht i will try nd even open d fold of the paper.....i m very ngry on myself abt tht...tht i will surely improve on...

I actually feel :-( tht i started taking charge of my life so very late...looking at few ppl...i feel i also had the potential but din't utilise it...but good i atleast realized it...Better late than never...feel i wasted a good no. of years...but then the damage is done...I dunno wht was d problem-- was it d controlled upbringing tht we had or was it my all time life-low confidence was at work or wht??? Hv cm cross pl who hv been very good inspirations, but d prblem wid me is tht d inspiration has remained in the heart, never rchd d mind -- which is necessary to put everthng i want to put into practice....

neways, enuf of feelng low.... goin 2 c Tare Zameen Par...movie has got good reviews..hope i like it 2...only thing is my alrdy trbled mind shud not get more trbld...i knw it will not happen....

Wantd 2 spk 2 my closest pal..but she's not in town since 3 weeks nd isnt even reachable..dunno when's she returning...I know her since long - long years now, but i still know tht i wud not hv been able 2 put my thoughts in words 2 her.....but it's alrite, my silence makes sense to her, i guess...nobody to listen 2 my silence hence just put it all here....

"Mann ka ho to acha, Mann ka na ho to aur bhi acha"- Harishvanshrai Bachchan...loosely translated to English...(thought the effect fizzles out)..."If things happen as u wish them to - good; if things happend against ur wishes- still better....." Hope it woks 4 me !!!!

ciao!!!!

A bit nervy.....

Dunno...y....but it is one of those days that i m feeling scared to wake up the next morning...is it because it is a Sunday evening...2% yes because Monday's generally start with a host of new things...

and i m not sure what the remaining 98% comprises of...is it work related deadlines or something else thts cooking within me...God knows....

I m feeling too tensed without any reason...dunno i m feeling that smthng is goin 2 go awfully wrong...

hope 2morrow turns out a normal day if not a good one....

People say " be indifferent of reactions by others to ur actions"...which is difficult 2 learn...but can v b indifferent to our own thoughts...can v let them not affect our life, our work...dunno...mightily difficult..i guess!!!

Wishing myself good luck 4 2morrow.....

Contacts...

Hi!!!

Just a few days ago, was having an evening walk and bumped into an old neighbour on the way.
Had a normal conversation regarding everybody at home and the other neighbours in our building. He also asked me where was I working and I told him the place I have joined...and yes as expected I had an opinionated answer. I came back home and said that I met him....folks at home just threw a question- what’s he doing now-a-days? I think they wanted 2 know where is he working now? I said… I din't bother to ask.

And with , I got strange reactions like—u don’t know how 2 do networking. I have hardly ever spoken to him as a neighbour, so I din't feel it necessary to even intrude further.

Those looks kind of threw a question at me---Acquaintances, contacts, friends---does the world perceive a difference in them?

"Acquaintances" are 2 people who just meet anywhere and everywhere, I guess - bus, train etc etc... one of them strikes a conversation and the other person completes it ...just that much and the two of them move on....

"Contacts" --in which one person tries to initiate a talk because he/she thinks that the other person has got some advantage (something extra or many things extra that the person possesses or v perceive that he / she possesses) that can be used for our own benefit.

Friends --we all understand and have different connotations for that and none of us need an explanation...

I just tried to give an accounting perspective to these three terms....Acquaintances...With them the Account statement remains fairly balanced at regular intervals...Suppose v meet a person at a party and there is a two way exchange of words...and the chapter closes there.. Nobody ever thinks of the other person until v meet up the next time....So the account statement just tallies perfectly at the close of each conversation....

With Contacts, it is a bit complicated...there is a lot of mismatch between the debits and the credits..As I said earlier it's about conversing with an objective...so u ask for ur favour, get it done and promise to help if the other party so desires any time in future....So in this account statement, the debits and credits of giving and taking favours/help has a certain amount of time lag to get balanced...and more often than not, the person who had initiated the discussion has the account as liability in his life!!!!

With friends, u don't need an account...its all with heart that u do for each other.

But how often than not, do we confuse a person---we tend to call everybody friends....Is it correct? In any conversation with any Tom, dick or Harry...we blurt out..."are haan, I have a friend working in that XYZ Co....." Kaunsa friend? Have u been pals with that person since ages....in 99 possibilities... No!!! I am not against building contacts...they are necessary for whatever ---professional, business or social networking and blah blah...but hold on....v r doing it for a very selfish reason....to get the benefit from the people....Ya, there are ppl who go out of their way to help people but then they are actually our well wishers disguised as contacts ...Again, I am not saying it's wrong, but time and again depending for everything in life on good contacts, as many ppl claim they have---is something I don't think ok about..... learn from others, imitate others, learn from ur own mistakes , ur own wrong decisions but don't depend on favours so much that u feel crippled by your own ambitions, ur own drives and ur own confidence sometime in life!!!!....

So, I think if v want our account statements in life to be well settled...v shud give a thougth before USING (ya, this is the word that we use often use for contacts....) a contact!!!!!!

Ciao!!!!!

Life

Before:

Never had the time to go traveling the countryside……
Never had the time to laze around the seaside……
Never had the time to catch up with God….

Always had the fear of known and unknowns……
Always had the fear of Opinions and impressions….
Always had the fear of Judgments and beliefs…

Life has fled with time and fear……

Now:

Looking for moments which are mine and will remain mine….
Finding time for people who matter to my existence….
Working hard to make souls near me smile…..

Gathering life learning from every person that I come across….
Not making commitments that I cannot fulfill....
Trying to be fearless of the world around me….

Trying to create an asset called Life for my future.